Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a
soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He
climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the
buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven
digits (phone numbers).

The store-owner observed and listened to the
conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your
lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I
already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of
the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is
presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance): "Lady, I'll even sweep
your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will
have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida
."
Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the
receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all
this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that
positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the
job I already have. I am the one who is working for
that lady, I was talking to!"

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Does the management know their staff???

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month,
Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash And gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months 'salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company". He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?"
 
To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery man, Sir...!!!" 

Parody of Nuvvu Naaku Nachaav

Devuda
oo Manchi Devuda,

 

Cheppu kovadaniki JOB ichav,
Choopinchataaniki ID CARD ichav,
Free ga ICICI ACCOUNT ichav,
Every month SALARY ichav,

 

Koorchovataniki CHAIR ichav,
Vundataaniki CUBICLE ichav,
Mails check cheyyataniki SYSTEM ichav,
Chatting ki COMMUNICATOR ichav,

 

Kaali ga vunte MCAD ichav,
Time pass kosam PROXY ichav,
Lunch kosam CANTEEN icahv,
Tiragadam kosam GOLCONDA konda ichav,
kaani,,,

 

Enduku nannu inka BENCH lone vunchav,
Ina NUVVU NAAKU NACHAV...NACHAV…

 

"This email and any files transmitted with it contain confidential, proprietary,  privileged information of Symphony Services Corp (India) Pvt. Ltd. and are intended  solely for the use of the recipient/s to whom it is addressed. Any unauthorized  notifying, copying or distributing of this e-mail, directly or indirectly, and the  contents therein in full or part is prohibited by any entity who is not a recipient.  Any email received inadvertently or by mistake should be deleted by the entity who  is not a recipient thereof. You may be pleased to notify the sender immediately by  email and the email should be deleted from your system". 

Love and Marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field
and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,
but he wonders....maybe there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but maybe there is an even bigger
one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to
realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher
told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but
when later you realize, you have already miss the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn
field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you
can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to
repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he
has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for
one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best
one you get.... this is marriage."

"This email and any files transmitted with it contain confidential, proprietary,  privileged information of Symphony Services Corp (India) Pvt. Ltd. and are intended  solely for the use of the recipient/s to whom it is addressed. Any unauthorized  notifying, copying or distributing of this e-mail, directly or indirectly, and the  contents therein in full or part is prohibited by any entity who is not a recipient.  Any email received inadvertently or by mistake should be deleted by the entity who  is not a recipient thereof. You may be pleased to notify the sender immediately by  email and the email should be deleted from your system". 

Jokes Unlimited

1 : Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ; Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;

2 : Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy.

Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are you outstanding! Please income.'

3 : Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car! Where did you get it from ?
Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and asked me - "want a ride Mr. Singh ?"I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anythi ng"

Banta is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?"
Santa: I took the car.
Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes!..

4 : TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,same time."
5 : TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when peopleare no longer interested?BALGOBIN : A teacher  

6. Math Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?" "None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking." Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married? Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?" "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking..

7. School
Johnny returns from school and says he got an Failed in arithmetic's. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" "That's exactly what I said.

Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house. Before going to bed Johnny says to her "Oh,please, I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed." She agrees, they go to bed. In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy-chested man in her bed. She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!" "Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"

8. Pass or Fail
Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed.. The principal agreed so they called Johnny into the office, explained, then the teacher asked, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?" Johnny replied, "Legs." The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?" Johnny replied, "Pockets." The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?" Johnny replied. "Rome." The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?" The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong"

9.  Too Young
A guy's walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke." Johnny looks up and doesn't say anything. The guy says, "How old are you?" Johnny says, "Six." The guy says, "Six? When did you start smoking?" Johnny says, "Right after the first time I got laid." The guy says, "Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?" Johnny says, "I don't remember. I was drunk."

10. No Fighting
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father see's it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with t he other boys?" But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" "Johnny", the father said. You don't do those kind of things to women. Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"

"This email and any files transmitted with it contain confidential, proprietary,  privileged information of Symphony Services Corp (India) Pvt. Ltd. and are intended  solely for the use of the recipient/s to whom it is addressed. Any unauthorized  notifying, copying or distributing of this e-mail, directly or indirectly, and the  contents therein in full or part is prohibited by any entity who is not a recipient.  Any email received inadvertently or by mistake should be deleted by the entity who  is not a recipient thereof. You may be pleased to notify the sender immediately by  email and the email should be deleted from your system". 

AAJ KA PJ

Once a man takes an auto from a mall to his home. After he reaches his house,he asks the autowala how much??

Though the meter showed Rs15,he charges him Rs100. The man unaware gives the money,goes home and sleeps...
Next day when he wakes up, he couldn't see anything...
He goes 2 a doctor,tries spects but nothing works....
His parents leave him in his room and tells him to rest,but suddenly at night his vision comes back...
Why???
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BECAUSE...autowaale ne use "ULLU" banaya.......

"This email and any files transmitted with it contain confidential, proprietary,  privileged information of Symphony Services Corp (India) Pvt. Ltd. and are intended  solely for the use of the recipient/s to whom it is addressed. Any unauthorized  notifying, copying or distributing of this e-mail, directly or indirectly, and the  contents therein in full or part is prohibited by any entity who is not a recipient.  Any email received inadvertently or by mistake should be deleted by the entity who  is not a recipient thereof. You may be pleased to notify the sender immediately by  email and the email should be deleted from your system".