Prayer before entering into office....

 

Trick to survive in the job

 

Chennai Sunbath

 

Hi .........

 

Ikkada Manchu paduthondhi…...

...అని న్యూ యార్క్ నుంచి రాంకిరణ్ ఫోన్ చేసినప్పుడల్లా నా కడుపు రగులుతుంది . కారణం - ఇక్కడ మద్రాసు లో నిప్పులు కురుస్తున్నాయి.

 

 లో అనగనగా ఒక నేను మద్రాసు లో వచ్చి పడ్డాను. ఈ మూడేళ్ళలో సంవత్సరానికి 10 చొప్పున 30 ఎండాకాలాలు చూసాను. మార్చ్, ఏప్రెల్, మే నెలలలో ఎవరైనా మద్రాసు కు పెళ్ళికో , బంధువుల ఇంటికో వచ్చారంటే సిక్కిం బంపర్ లాటరీ కొట్టినట్టే. దగ్గర్దగ్గిర 180 డిగ్రీ సెంటీగ్రేడ్ల ఉష్ణోగ్రతతో ఎంతో ఆహ్లాదంగా ఉంటుంది వాతావరణం.

 

అసలు మాటర్ ఏంటంటే .....'Big Bang' జరిగిన తరువాత మన విశ్వం లో అన్నీ చల్లబడి సర్దుకుంటున్న టైములో 'Small Bang' అనే చిన్న విస్పోటం ఇంకోటి జరిగింది. ఆ నిప్పు రేణువులు పడటం వల్ల మన విశ్వం లో కొన్ని ప్రాంతాలు మాత్రమే వేడిగా అలా ఉండిపొయ్యాయి. వాటిలో ముఖ్యంగా చెప్పుకోదగినవి సూర్యుడు, సహారా ఎడారి , మద్రాసు...

 

ఇప్పటి వాళ్ళ లాగానే రాతియుగం నాటి మద్రాసు వాస్తవ్యులు కూడా కోతి నాయాళ్ళు . తంగ వేల్ , శరవణ వేల్, బొటన వేల్, చిటికెన వేల్ అనే నలుగురు అన్నదమ్ములు దోమలు ఎక్కువగా కుడుతున్నాయని ఓజోన్ పొర ను చించి దోమతెరలు కుట్టుకున్నారంట. దాని ఫలితం ఇప్పటి జనాలు అనుభవిస్తున్నారు .

వీళ్ళకంటే అలవాటైపొయ్యింది....తలరాత తమిళ దేవుడు రాసి మద్రాసు లో ఉద్యోగం వచ్చిన నాలాంటి వాళ్ళ సంగతి ఏంటి ??

 

'మద్రాసు ' ను ' చెన్నై' అని పేరు మారిస్తే పరిస్థితి మారుతుందేమో అని ప్రయత్నించారు . అసలుకే మోసం వచ్చి ఎండ మూడింతలయ్యింది. ఆ వేడికి బుర్ర బాయిలింగ్ పాయింట్ దాటి ...మామూలు మనుష్యుల్లాగా అలోచించే శక్తి కోల్పొయ్యి, ఏమి చెయ్యాలో తోచని వాళ్ళు రాజకీయాల్లోకి ప్రవేశించి.. ముఖ్యమంత్రులు, ప్రతిపక్ష నాయకులు అయ్యారు (మీరుగానీ నేను కరుణానిధి, జయలలిత గురించి మాట్లాడుతున్నాను అనుకుంటున్నారా ??? ఐతే మీకు వంద మార్కులు ...నేను వాళ్ళ గురించే మాట్లాడుతున్నాను ).

 

మా ఆఫీసు లో ఫార్మల్ వేర్ తప్పనిసరి ....మార్చ్ , ఏప్రెల్, మే నెలల్లో మేము పడే కష్టాలు గమనించి మానేజ్మెంట్ వాళ్ళు అందరికీ మెయిల్ చేసారు - "మీకు ఏ డ్రస్సు సౌకర్యంగా ఉంటే అదే వేసుకురండి" అని....మరుసటి రోజు అందరూ నిక్కర్లూ, బనియన్లూ వేసుకుని తయారయ్యారు..

 

కాసిన్ని వానలు పడితే ఐనా భూమి కాస్త చల్లబడుతుంది ...కానీ అదంత వీజీ కాదు ..

 

ఉన్న కొండలన్నీ పగలగొట్టి KPJ లక్కీ స్టోన్స్ వాళ్ళు ఉంగరాల్లో పెట్టి అమ్మటం మొదలు పెట్టారు ..అశోకుడు మద్రాసు లో కూడా రోడ్డుకు ఇరువైపులా చెట్లు నాటించాడంట . కానీ ఇక్కడ టీ కొట్లనుంచి కార్ షోరూముల దాకా చెట్లు కొట్టేసి, ఫూట్పాత్లు చెరిపేసి కట్టిన ఇల్లీగల్ కట్టడాలు చాలా ఉన్నాయి...ఇప్పుడు మద్రాసు మొత్తానికి 13 చెట్లు మిగిలున్నాయి - అందులోవి ఆరు గులాబీ మొక్కలు...

 

కొండలూ, చెట్లు ఏమీ లేకపోతే వర్షాలు ఎక్కడినుండి పడతాయి??

 

అలాగని అస్సలు వర్షాలే ఉండవని కాదు ..అప్పుడప్పుడూ కొన్ని అకాల వర్షాలు పడుతుంటాయి - అది కూడా కేవలం మద్రాసులో ఇండియా క్రికెట్ మాచులు ఉన్నప్పుడు మాత్రమే... ఈ మాట చాలా మంది నమ్మక పోవచ్చు.... కావాలంటే ఈ సారి మనవాళ్ళ మాచ్ ఏదైనా మద్రాసు లో ఉన్నప్పుడు ఇక్కడకు రండి . ఆ రోజు పొద్దున వాన పడే సూచన ఏమాత్రం లేకున్నా సగం మంది గొడుగులు పట్టుకుని కనిపిస్తారు... మిగతా సగం ' అడవి రాముడు ' సినిమాలో వాన పాట డ్రస్సులేసుకుని తిరుగుతుంటారు. మనవాళ్ళు గనక గెలిచే పొజిషన్ లో ఉంటే ఆరోజు మధ్యాన్నానికల్లా తుఫానొచ్చి మద్రాసు చుట్టుపక్కల రెండు మూడు ఊర్లు మునిగిపోతాయి ..

 

నేను నా స్నేహితులను కలవటానికి సగటున మూడు నెలలకొకసారి బెంగళూరు వెళ్తుంటాను. మద్రాసు నుండి వస్తున్న బస్సు బెంగళూరు ప్రవేశించబోతోంది అనగా ఒక అనౌన్సుమెంటు చేస్తారు - "మద్రాసు నుండి వస్తున్న ప్రజలార...ఇప్పుడు మీరు మీకు తెలియని ఒక కొత్త అనుభూతికి లోనవబోతున్నారు ...దీనిని 'చలి ' అంటారు. సీట్ల కింద దూరడమో , డ్రైవర్ పక్కనున్న ఇంజను మీద కూర్చోవడమో చెయ్యండి...లేకపొతే చచ్చి ఊరుకుంటారు " అని ...

 

మద్రాసు లోని లోకల్ బొబ్బిలి బ్రహ్మన్న ' చలి ' ని ఎప్పుడో ' గ్రామ బహిష్కరణ ' చేసాడు .. అందుకే ఇక్కడ 'చలికాలం ' అనే మాటకు అర్థం చాలా మందికి తెలియదు ...ఇక్కడ డిసెంబర్, జనవరి నెలల్లో కూడా ఎయిర్ కూలర్ల అమ్మకాలు మాంచి జోరుగా ఉంటాయి...

 

మూడు నెల్ల క్రితం పేపర్లో వచ్చిన ఒక సంచలన వార్త అందరూ చదివే ఉంటారనుకుంటా - "మద్రాసు లో స్వటర్లు అమ్మటానికి ప్రయత్నించిన దినకర్ అనే వ్యక్తిని పిచ్చాసుపత్రిలో చేర్పించిన పోలీసులు " అని... మొదట్లో ఇదేదో పోలీసులు పన్నిన కుట్ర అనుకున్నారు మిగతా ప్రాంతాల వారు ...కానీ అదే దినకర్ పిచ్చాసుపత్రి నుండి రెలీజ్ అయ్యాక మద్రాసు ఎండలో 'sun bath ' చేద్దామని రెండు చిన్న గుడ్డ పేలికలు కట్టుకుని మరీనా బీచులో పడుకున్నాడంట... ఆ ఫొటోలు పేపర్లో రావటం తో కొంచెం తేడా కాండిడేట్ అని నిర్ధారించుకున్నారు..

 

గంట సేపుగా కంప్యూటర్ ముందు కూర్చున్నానేమో ...వళ్ళంతా చెమటలు పట్టేసాయి.. ఈ రోజు చెయ్యవలసిన నాలుగో స్నానానికి టైమయ్యింది...

Some Love Story .....

Start Reading If You Have Time Enough To Do Justice With The Story!

Very Shocking.....

 

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in

Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.

 

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.

Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.

You used to be never found without her without handphone. In fact she also

changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can

be on the same network, and save on the cost.

 

She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.

Priya's family knew about their relationship. Shankar was very close to

Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their

love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away

please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her

parents.

 

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so

but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the

same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who

can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

 

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.

 

After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her

friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.

He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the

casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily

and they then carried her into the van.

 

All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya

had passed away.

 

 

 

After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....

 

Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.

Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."

Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something

very important."

 

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks

that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool

me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this

nonsense".

 

Then they show him the original death certificate to him.

They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He

said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking.

 

Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this...."

he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he

talked using the loudspeaker mode.

 

All of them heard his conversation.

 

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.

 

It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim

card since it is nailed inside the grave box

 

 

They were so shocked and asked

for the same person's

(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his

master to solve this matter.

 

He & his master

 

worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...

 

Hutch has the best coverage.

 

"Where ever you go, our network follows!!!"

 

 

Don't shout at me I am also looking for the person who has sent me this

mail....so what you can do...you should also forward this mail to all your

nears and dears...and enjoy...like i enjoyed.

See the guts!

See the guts!

On a ship, the Project managers of three diff companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.

The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, “See the guts!”

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, “See the guts!”

Now the Indian PM called out for his most Courageous man And asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, “Tere baap ka naukar hoon kya??? “The PM proudly said, “See the guts!” ;-))

“There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations……

A bridge too far..!!

A BRIDGE TOO FAR

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, how diligently and strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."

Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now."

Ram spoke "Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on construction. "

Hanuman humbly bowed down and said "Why not we go down and present our case"

Ram said "Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock carts and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself under litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is dilemma so to say."

"I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge."

"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated."

"Lord can't understand these historians. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all."

Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in the forest and he said that he won't take a chance of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around."

 

Stupid Qs .. perfect answers

Are you chewing gum?

"No, I'm John Smith."



"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."

"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"



"What are you going to be when you graduate?"

"An old man"



"I spent three years in college taking medicine."

"Are you well now?"



"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"

"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."


"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."

"Who wants to eat friends?"



"We are having mother for dinner, darling."

"Make sure she's well done."



"I want some rat poison."

"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"



"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."

"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."



"May I hold your hand?"

"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."



"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"

"No, sir, only when it rains."



"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"

"Why? Is it tilted?"



"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"

"No, you'll have to walk"



"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"

"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."



"I have changed my mind."

"Thank heavens! Does it work better now?"



"Would you like your coffee black?"

"What other colors do you have

Parents

A conversation. ...this was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students on Special seminar for HUMAN RELATION.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport  to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things. As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it  was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete. Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too. Take care of ur parents, its your turn.

If you forward this mail, particularly to children - The winning Prize would be, more happier, smiling and cheerful family and people around you.

The LOGIC works in the world

 
Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."

Son: "Well, in that case...ok"


Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"


Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Moral : Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything ,

If your attitude is positive.

Male Comebacks To Female Comebacks....

Man : I know how to please a woman.
Woman : Then please leave me alone.
Man : I guess you're pretty good at pleasing yourself then.


Man : I want to give myself to you.
Woman : Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man : Oh, just cheap perfume then.


Man : You look like a dream.
Woman : Go back to sleep.
Man : You mean this isn't a nightmare?


Man : Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman : Do not enter, -OR- Stop.
Man : Really? You look more like a "Yield."


Man : Your body is like a temple.
Woman : Sorry, there are no services today.
Man : Here's a donation to restore the exterior.


Man : What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman : What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
Man : You're right. I was lying.


Man : Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman : Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man : Well, I guess you really don't belong in the men's room anyway.


Man : So, what do you do for a living?
Woman : I'm a female impersonator.
Man : So that's how you got the moustache.


Man : "Want to dance?"
Woman : "No, thank you."
Man : "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you."


Man : You're pretty
Woman : Piss off.
Man : Don't interrupt, You're pretty....... ugly.

Programmer's Day

 

Reader's digest joke

With a pile of 300 résumés on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.
"Throw away 250 résumés?" I asked, shocked.
"What if the best candidates are in there?"
"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."
- Becky Horowitz(Reader's digest)

Aaj Ka PJ

Many ants were swimming in a swimming pool........but only one ant was swimming with one of it's hand raised above ......
y?????

;
;
;
;
its watch was not water-proof......

Deadly PJ (esp for OS Lovers)

ek baar ek gaon mei ek insaan rehta tha..uska naam GILLU tha..

ek din uske saath bahut bura hua... wo ek ped se gir kar mar gaya..

uski akhiri icha thi ki usey ek coffin mei chain karke rakha jai..

uski icha ke mutabik usey ek coffin mei dala gaya.. us cofffin ko chain se ache se bandh diya gaya...

ab uske rishtedar us coffin ko uthakar le jaa rahe they..

. .

.

.


par coffin tha ki hil hi nahi raha tha..

.
batao kyo???
?






kyonki wahan ek 'DEAD-LOCK' ho gaya tha!!!!

MAGIC of WINDOWS DRIVES....

Warning: Try this only if u r ready to restart your machine

 

Do you want to see Magic...

Close ur All drives...Copy paste the below line into ur WINDOWS-->START-->RUN ...

cmd /c for %a in (d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z) do subst %a: %windir%

run this command in Run window...

check the windows Explorer..


See the Magic...............

Drinking beer could turned u into women

Last month, National University of SMLU scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones(hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the tested subjects:

1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
No further testing was considered necessary.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer!

Happy Sri Krishna Janmashtami

Aaj Ka PJ

Can you give me the name of the most famous HEART TRANSPLANT operation done in India??
socho...answer bahut easy hai...
chalo de deta huun ...bahtu scroll kiya aapne....



here it goes.....



Between ajay devgan and twinkle khanna ....in the movie JAAN...

'mere sinne main tera DIL dhadke ...tere sinne main mera DIL?jaan O meri Jaan..'

Ctr+C on Internet

here is some useful information for all.

Ctrl+C may be the most important work we do everyday. But it's not a very safe thing to do. Read on to know why.

What happens when you press Ctrl+C while you are Online...?

We do copy various data by Ctrl+C for pasting elsewhere.

This copied data is stored in clipboard and is accessible from the net by a combination of JavaScript’s and ASP.


Just try this:

1) Copy any text by Ctrl+C
2) Click the Link: http://www.sourcecodesworld.com/special/clipboard.asp
3) you will see the text you copied was accessed by this web page.

Do not keep sensitive data (like passwords, credit card numbers, PIN etc.) in the clipboard while surfing the web. It is extremely easy to extract the text stored in the clipboard to steal your sensitive information.

 

To avoid Clipboard Hack Problem, do the following:

1. Go to internet options->security
   2. Press custom level
   3. In the security settings, select disable under Allow paste operations via script.
   Now the contents of your clipboard are safe. :)

Color of Frequency ---- Physics PJ

What is the Color of Frequency???
Socho socho!!!!!!!
without further ado.....the Ans is...............





PURPLE
Reason:

Frequency = 1/Sec or u can say Per second

Now Second = Pal ( In Hindi or moment in English)



Therefore....Frequency = Per Pal = Purple  

Awesome joke on HR!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

 "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

 "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

 "Sorry, we have rules..."

 And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

 The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening  owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

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Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee...

Joke on HR

Its simply superb...worth reading...u will definitely agree....

---

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

 "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

 "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

 "Sorry, we have rules..."

 And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

 The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening  owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

 -

 -

 -

 -    

 -    

 -

 -    

 -

 -

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Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee...

Importance of having Breakfast - DON'T Skip

 

                                                                                          "Importance of having Breakfast"

Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack and sudden death. Advice on not to skip breakfast!

Healthy living
For those who always skip breakfast, you should stop that habit now! You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast.

Why?

Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaks between 6:00a.m. and noon , with the highest incidence being
between 8: 00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early
morning hours?

We may have an Answer.


Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to
cholesterol or laque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.

However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes. Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns,    Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk. So if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research. Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes, along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice, and perhaps a piece of fruit. This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential Heart Attack or stroke. So never ever skip breakfast

 

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